Back to School

This year wasn't really what I expected. I know, shocker.

I have been counting down the years until William would be in Kindergarten. I knew that once he was in school, I could go back to school too. I was able to finish my Associates Degree just after Haley was born, but I knew that with a toddler and a newborn at home, I wouldn't be able to focus on my schoolwork anymore.

However, starting school again has not been what I had planned. We started off the school year with all three of the kids at home. I thought that doing school with a toddler and a newborn would be tough, and now, I know I was right. Doing school with a 5th grader, a 3rd grader, and a Kindergartener was really tough. Luckily, they've been back at school for a while now, but in the back of my mind is always the thought that they may have to do homeschool again before the school year is out.

One of the big things that has helped me keep my sanity is keeping my assignments laid out in Google Calendar. I was able to color-code each assignment by class and set them up to repeat if they were assignments that I needed to do every week (like discussion posts). Each day I am able to easily see what reading/posts/video meetings/essays I need to work on for that day.

Not what I expected

Well, this year has not turned out how I thought it would. It's only halfway through March and already there's been so many surprises. Over the last few days I've been trying to wrap my head around all the changes. I know that this next month is going to be tough and my anxiety is not making it any easier.

One way my anxiety manifests itself is in the need to have everything planned out as much as possible. I've already scheduled out our day into one hour subject time frames, broken those further into 20 or 30 minute rotations between assignments and activities, set up a kids profile on both computers with easy links to educational websites, compiled a few activities for William to do in lieu of actual schoolwork, withdrawn William from his preschool for the next month, and set up a cleaning schedule. Today I've been setting up Abby's Google Classroom and hopefully I'll have the links for Haley's Google classrooms later today or tomorrow.

This whole situation is tricky for me because, while I am a home body, I have looooved working these past few months! I really hope this all dies down and we can all go back to school in April because I already miss it so much!

And for all of my fellow "newly home-schooling" moms out there, check out some of the activities I have on my TeachersPayTeachers. Everything is $1, and if nothing else, it will keep your kids at least semi-educationally entertained.

keeping busy

Okay, it's been a while since I posted, but I guess that falls under the umbrella of "no news is good news", right?

Honestly, lately I've been feeling good. My anxiety is down, my mood is (generally)up. Life's been pretty good.

Aaron is currently gone again (at SOS), and will be home in a few more weeks, but while he's been gone I've been keeping myself busy.

My latest venture has been creating activities and worksheets for my preschool classroom. It is so much fun and so fulfilling to be able to talk with the other teachers about what we are trying to accomplish and what the kids need to work on, and then going home and creating something to fit that need. Plus, then seeing the kids reactions to what I've created is so much more meaningful because of the effort that I've put into it.

I started creating these last year when I started working at the YMCA preschool, and over the past year I can definitely see my progress. 😆

This was one of the first worksheets that I came up with and created on my own. I made it using Word, and as you can see, it's super simple.

I started researching a little bit, and found that a lot of people recommended using powerpoint to create worksheets. So I started experimenting with that and found some free clipart that I could use.

Powerpoint definitely allowed me to expand on what I was able to do since it didn't have the same kind of spacing formatting that is required in Word. I figured out how to use some of the tools and get a little creative.

And now, about a year later, I feel like I am really developing my own style and creating a more polished and finished product.

Each activity I make seems to come easier, and I am more pleased with the finished product. I even created a super simple rhyming activity to go with our Green Eggs and Ham day, and I posted it on my Teachers Pay Teachers site. I was stunned when I sold 63 copies!!! It was amazing! 

So, (plug for myself) if you want to see some of my other creations check out my site here! Or, if you have an idea for something that you would love to see me create or would like to work on with your kiddo, I would send it to you for free 😁.

Anyway, life is good. 

It’s not okay, but I’m okay

This has been on my mind for a long time. I’ve been thinking on it ever since my last post, trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say.

I want to start off by saying that I have forgiven the family member that I discussed in my previous post. I forgave them a long time ago.

Forgiveness is always a tricky topic for me because I feel like there are a lot of misunderstandings about what forgiveness is and what it means.

There are several phrases that are very common that I hate. The first is “Forgive and Forget”. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to forget what happened to me. And I feel like saying that we’re supposed to forgive and forget is misleading. Forgiving him doesn’t mean that I don’t think about what happened, that it doesn’t color some of my choices with my own children, or even that I trust this person. What it does mean is that I have accepted that we are not the choices we have made. I am not perfect, no one is. Everyone has the ability to change and grow and I recognize that possibility for him.

The next one I hate is one that I see constantly working in a preschool. One child hurts another and we tell them to apologize, and the other child says “that’s okay”. I hate that! Now it’s one thing if something was done on accident and they recognize it and are apologizing. But if someone has done something on purpose I don’t think we should be telling them that it’s okay. With my students and my own kids I try to have them apologize, then find a way to fix it/make it better(like asking if they need a hug or helping them rebuild something they broke, etc), and then asking if they are okay. Maybe I’m being nit-picky, but I feel like there is a world of difference between saying “it’s okay” and “I’m okay”.

These two steps were very important to me in getting to a place where I could forgive. Understanding that he has the potential for change, and getting myself to a point where I was okay.

The biggest and most important step for me in my forgiveness process was really getting a good understanding of the atonement. I was reading in The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball, and I found one part in particular that really spoke to me. I can't remember the exact words (and I have yet to go back and read it all again), but it said something that reminded me that the atonement is an individual blessing. And just like Christ suffered for all of my sins, He suffered for my family member's sins. Me, holding on to my own bitterness and resentment and refusing to forgive, was as if I was saying that the atonement should not apply for this person. What they did was so bad, that they don't deserve it. And that is just ridiculous. The atonement is available for and can redeem ANYONE! It's not my job to say who should get it and who shouldn't (thank goodness!). It's not up to me. So I can let it go.

Anyway...It's an ongoing process, and I know that...It's a process for everyone. I'm still trying to improve myself, and I would hope that everyone has something that they're working on.

Long story short: It's not okay, but I'm okay.