Stupid self control...

UUUGGGGHHH!!!! I hate that I have absolutely no self control! This past month I've been trying to do better at being healthy-eating better, going to the gym, etc. For a while I was doing really well and I even lost 5 pounds. This past week though...it's been tough...I don't know what's so different about this past week...it seems the same as every other week...but I find myself falling back into my old habits of over eating and staying up way too late. Then, of course I have no energy the next day and I feel like crap! Not to mention the 2 pounds I gained back... Obviously it's not a matter of not knowing what's best for me, because I do. I just choose not to do it. Why do I do that?! It makes absolutely no sense! It goes against everything I'm working for right now! I hear myself in my head as I reach for those pringles..."why am I eating this? I'm not hungry...I really shouldn't eat this..." and yet, I do! Why?! Why can't I just do what I know is best? Honestly, I think the worst part is that I don't feel better when I do this to myself. I feel great when I'm healthy and I have a good workout, and I feel good about myself! But when I loose my self-control, it makes it worse, not better! I feel worse! And not just mentally, I feel physically....uh...well, blah. ugh...I guess I just need to suck it up and do my best. Maybe since I have now admitted my weakness I'll be less apt to do it again :) one can hope right?

New Year's Resolutions...just a little late...

The past few weeks I've been trying to do better in certain areas: Exercising, Eating better, and keeping the house clean. I got a member ship at the YMCA and have been going to some workout classes to try to finally get this baby weight off! I love working out and this past week when I didn't go for a few days (due to -20 degree weather) I could definitely tell a difference in the way I felt!

The whole eating better thing hasn't been going as well. One of the biggest excuses I use is that it's just too hard to cook for just Abby and myself. (total bunch on crap!!!) The real reason is probably closer to plain old laziness...but it's a work in progress. I also found an online calorie tracker so that I would have a visual number of what I was eating. See...I have this tendency to just snack all day long. Which I suppose would be okay if they were healthy snacks, but they usually aren't. Having a record has helped me to stop the snacking because I don't want the extra numbers! I'll be sitting at the computer and think about getting something to munch on, but then I'll think "no! I don't want to put that in! If I eat that now, then I won't be able to eat as much of ...(whatever)".

As for keeping the house clean...anyone who has been to my house knows that I'm a lazy cleaner. Meaning, I only clean the things that need to be cleaned (ie the dishes...). I don't really put Abby's toys away, or put the clean clothes or dishes away. I just grab what I need out of the pile or dishwasher. So my current goal is to keep things clean. Doing the little things all the time instead of waiting until it's a major all day event to clean the house. So far...it's been 1 day...but I made my bed this morning! And Aaron would be happy to tell you that that is definitely an achievement for me!